Three Absurd Things You Should Never Say

1. Is she a spastic”. An elderly lady stopped my carer and I while we were out shopping one day to ask this question directed at my carer. My carer was horrified and didn’t know what to say. I thought about hamming it up, dribbling on myself and exaggerating my slurring saying “yes, yes I am” but that would have been mean more than funny. Dear readers, please know using words like spastic and retarded to describe someone not stereotypical is really out of date and actually offensive. If you also want to ask a question about me, just ask me. I can hear and understand everything you say.

2. “Hurry up”. This was yelled at me from outside the disabled toilet in the Princess Theatre Melbourne after seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child earlier this year. Out of all moments I’m sharing today, this made me the most livid because the lady who was in such an rush to use the disabled bathroom was completely able bodied. Not only that but when my carer confronted her, she tried to make up random excuses while backpedaling fast on what she said, even trying to put on a limp after the fact we watched her walk away perfectly. My carer at the time made the lady come and apologise which did redeem her a little, even though she was condescending. Ever since then, I’ve had a deep profound respect for my beautiful, thoughtful and passionate carer.

3. This next point is I think the funniest thing that happened to me ever. One day I was in town with my boyfriend and carer and I hadn’t been dating my boyfriend long. While waiting to cross a road, a young teen engaged my boyfriend and carer in conversation. She made small talk first, then asked about me and somehow finished with “you’re good parents”. I will never forget the look on my boyfriend’s face as all the colour was drained out and he scrambled to explain our relationship. What made it even more hilarious was that if my carer was my Mum she would’ve been a child and if my boyfriend was my dad he wouldn’t have even been born! Dear readers, never assume one’s relationship.

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