Dear readers, it’s time to talk about the taboo topic of challenges with sex especially when you have a disability. I’ll be talking about my personal but sometimes humorous fears in regards to cerebral palsy and sex so if this makes you squirm at the thought I suggest you politely click elsewhere. Thank you. I’m not only hoping that this post will create more awareness, education and discussions about sex and disability but also be a cathartic process for me through sharing my experiences.
Now, let’s start with some of my fears. I’ll list them below:
• Fear of pain when being intimate with my boyfriend
• Fear that he won’t be able to fit inside me
• Fear about also squashing him between my legs because my tone (which is a part of cp) has kicked in, making all my muscles tighten
• Fear of biting down accidentally on him during oral
• Fear that I’m not good enough for him
As you can see from this list, these are all pretty normal feelings for everyone to go through. However, I didn’t realise how common they were until recently and thanks to my team of clinical therapists, OT and boyfriend in helping me to safely expand my knowledge of intimacy, pain and myself. If you don’t take away anything else from these ramblings, please know not to be afraid to ask questions especially to clinical therapists, it’s their job. It might make them feel uncomfortable at first or they may not even know the answer but they can research and help point you in the right direction. I believe that the more questions we ask, the more education we create. At the end of the day we’re all people with human needs and desires, no matter our differences.